In my last posts I shared about saying NO to people (see healthy boundaries and about behavior). And decided not to have them present in my life right now. To let them go was not an easy decision of course and it took some time before I was ready for it.
Here I want to share a method through which I support myself throughout such a process. Hopefully, it will help you to better handle situations that appear in your own life.
Every situation starts with you experiencing a trigger. Someone is saying or doing something or a situation arises that affects you. You start feeling an emotion, like anger, sadness, frustration. Your mind starts its own story, based on your beliefs and your past. Within seconds you are caught up in drama.
Now the very first challenge is to recognize that. If you can, catch the moment right away. And break the cycle of being caught up in the situation, not merely physically, but in particular emotionally and mentally. Do not go into the drama. This is, however, quite challenging, as we go into stories and identification within a split second and almost always without realizing it.
But for now, let’s assume that you are – just like me- a human, with conditions and stories and find yourself being trapped already. I, however, also assume you want to learn and grow, as you are reading this post and following me. So let’s start our investigation together!
So. There we are. In the drama.
Catch yourself. As soon as possible.
Find a place and time to be still. Where you can just be present with everything there is. Invite yourself to become the observer. Without judgment. Ask yourself powerful questions. For example: What is the story I am telling myself? What belief is underneath the emotion I am experiencing? Of what previous situation reminds me this? Is it true that the same will happen again? What is it that I cannot yet see in this situation? What is it that I can learn from this situation? What quality do I need to develop if this situation would last forever?
If the answers do not come immediately, do not get frustrated. If you are open to receiving them, and you do not need to do anything for that, you will get them sooner or later. Do not search for the answers. They will come to you. Start building to trust your inner knowing and practice seeing and hearing the answers.
I have had many times that the answers came under the shower, while riding my bicycle, or in the early morning in bed.
Next post I will share my second powerful method: free-flow writing.
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